Themes that clearly arise in O’Brien’s writing are themes
of blame and guilt. This is especially evident in “The Man I killed” and
“Speaking of Courage.” In the first story mentioned O’Brien is so overcome with
guilt he imagines a life for his victim, a young Vietnamese soldier who he had
allegedly shot down and killed. He imagines how the young soldier must have
been made fun of for his “woman like walk” and “dainty features” as well as how
he must have loved mathematics, loved a girl, and how he and his family both
felt about War and the Americans involvement. In fact his imagination of this
soldier is in more ways than one a replica of himself. “A slim young dainty
main, He had no stomach for violence. He loved mathematics. His eyebrows were thin and arched like a
woman, and at school the boys sometimes teased him about how pretty he was, and
on the playground they mimicked a woman’s walk and made fun of his smooth skin
and his love for mathematics” (121). The focus on these characteristics is to
keep some distance in order for O’Brien to dull the pain of guilt from murder.
Describing things the young man carries, allows O’Brien to relate himself to
the allegedly killed stranger “He found a pouch of rice, a comb, a fingernail
clipper, a few spoiled piasters, a snap shot of a young woman standing in front
of a parked motorcycle” (123). By doing this O’Brien whether unconsciously or
consciously seems to humanize himself and discover his own morality and avoid
further guilt, since not much emotion about the actual killing or death of the
young soldier is explained. On the other hand O’Brien is then feeding into his
guilt since he humanizes the victim so specifically and poetically, it is
described that he did in fact destroy an irreplaceable soul, and not just
another Vietcong enemy. As a result O’Brien and the reader easily identify with
the terrible and immoral nature of the killing.
A theme of blame and guilt is also
portrayed in “Speaking of Courage.” This story is mainly a story about survivor’s
guilt, and also draws an allusion to “How to tell a True War story.” The story
of Kiowa’s death and Bowkers inability to save him his embarrassing and
emotional to Bowker that automatically he is overcome with much guilt and
blame. “It was not a war for stories, nor for talk of valor, and nobody in town
wanted to know about the terrible stink. They wanted good intentions and good
deeds” (143). Norman Bowker feels that
his bravery was not enough to save his friend Kiowa from drowning to death in a
Vietnamese “shit field.” “There were flares and mortar rounds, and the stink
was everywhere-it was inside him, in his lungs-and he could no longer tolerate
it. Not here, he thought. Not like this. He released Kiowa’s boot and watched
it slide away.” (143). As Norman Bowker returns to his small town after the
war, the same scene seems to keep playing in his mind as he is often described
as “Being folded in with the war; he was part of the waste.” Bowker feels he
was not as brave as he wanted to be, and fails to fully vocalize this guilt
since his father’s constant mention of, at least he won seven metals seems to
act as a place holder for his actual blaming and guilty feelings towards
himself. Just like Kiowa and the sinking field, Bowker is unable to escape from
his repeated thoughts about Kiowa’s death, leading him to his downfall where in
“Notes” it is mentioned that Bowker hanged himself. This is extremely evident
of perhaps how much guilt and blame soldiers are overcome with after war and
how since some fail to come to terms with or talk about their pain, they fall
as the prey to their own guilt and blame.
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